Best Friends: How to Grow a Friend

A twelve-step program

The best time to grow a best friend is before you need one!
Written or compiled by Joy Stevens

1. People Equal Friends.There is a certain chemistry with friends just as in a love relationship. Therefore, contact with other people is the first building block to grow a friend. Friends can't grow in a vacuum. Best friends take time.
2. Talking Is Essential Among Friends.Talking between friends requires reciprocity. In a mutually satisfying friendship, both friends talk and both friends listen. Friends talk appropriately to each other.
3. Friends Acknowledge Friends.Friends acknowledge each other when talking. Many conflicts in your personal relationships can be avoided if you will take the time to acknowledge other's feelings and points of view.
4. Friends Listen to Friends.Listening to friends in an important step in building a closer friendship. We often take listening for granted, never realizing what it means to really listen to a friend.
5. Friends Attend to Friends.Friends focus during conversations. Friends pay attention in conversations. It means that your ears, your eyes, your body and your feelings are all focused on that person at the time.
6. Friends Show Empathy With Friends.Empathy is identifying with your friend's feelings and seeing life through your friend's eyes. Confidences are freely given when they are received with empathy among friends.
7. Friends Touch Friends.Touching is a warm form of communication between friends. When you see best friends communicating, you will notice friends "listen with their eyes," stand close together, and touch comfortably.
8. Friends Praise Friends.Affirmation is a powerful tool for growing a friend. Genuine praise can affect your friends' lives. Be liberal with praise for all of your friends, including your casual ones.
9. Friends Are Loyal and Trustworthy.Trust and loyalty go hand-in-hand for friends. Friends can trust you with their secrets, both large and small, because good friends never break a confidence. Good friends are forever loyal!
10. Friends are Equal.Friends are on a seesaw. In a healthy relationship, friends are equals. Not 50/50 every time, of course, but with a true, lasting friendship it always evens out in the end.
11. Friends Reveal Their Feelings.We feel closest to our friends when we are suffering together, when we feel like our friend needs us, or when we feel a friend has shared something of great importance with us.
12. Friends Do Not Mind Read.The person who thinks, "If you really liked me, you could read my mind" can not have an adult friendship. No friend can read your mind. And you can not read your friend's mind.

Friendships

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans.

Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

• the tendency to desire what is best for the other,


• sympathy and empathy,


• honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart


• mutual understanding.

And their is nothing better than having a wonderful BEST Friend! We may have our trials and tribulations, but nonetheless we have overcome and our friendship has in the past become stronger and unwaving! I just wanted to take the time out to say I LOVE YOU and wish the best for you. I wish that the we could share all of our struggles together and continue to grow. We may have our issues but hopefully we will have the ability to continue to listen, be receptive, open, understand , motivate and overall overcome!

To all of my other close friends ... Remember the I do love you and wish you the best in all of your endeavors! I am here to listen and to motivate you and always KEEP IT REAL! Whether you want to hear it or not... its my JOB for all of my friends and family!

LOVE YOU ALL!

10 Thoughts towards Life

There is always a time in life where you have to sit down and ponder about the things going on around you! I feel like I am a pretty open individual about my thoughts most of the time and other times I just don't feel like conflict or confrontation.

Its very difficult speaking to some people, when you realize that no matter what they still will only perceive things the way they see things regardless. So, perhaps I should try and break things down. I only want the best for all those in my life: Friends and Family alike!

So these are my thoughts towards life in general.

1. I don't like the feeling of being taken advantage of or any member in my family.
2.I feel like each person should contribute and in return good things are bound to happen.
3. One should always recognize when people are doing things out of the kindness of there heart. But also, recognize it may not always happen without a change in attitude and outlook!
4. Things are not always about you! I know its hard to believe... but true... And it isn't always about me either... DAMN... hate when I have say that.. lol
5. Believe... When someone is saying something.. perhaps their trying to tell you something you may not even recognize... you cant always see what people see... as an individual we keep our blinders up and want to think that what we see and feel is the only way... NOT TRUE... people are only trying to make someone else better if they truly care about you they will tell you character traits that have flaws... YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT ... BUT WE ALL HAVE FLAWS..
6. Be grateful... every one deserves something in life.. such as happiness... but it may not come from the areas where you would like or from the people you wish it would come from...
7. Make an effort... Offer to do things... don't just wait... when you see people doing things... offer to contribute on a regular bases... at least this demonstrates to one that you notice what is being offered... And somethings take the extra effort and switch the role completely. this exhibits the WOW FACTOR!!! Even I need should do this... lol... STILL LOVE YOU MOM!!!!
8. Watch your actions... Actions speak louder than words... Body language is a tell all... when you change that.. people know whats going on in your head...
9. Be passionate... Love yourself before you can love others... Love the things you do and what people do for you! AGAIN ITS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU OR ME FOR THAT MATTER! There is always someone else going to through a more difficult time!
10. Remember.. you are loved... don't take things personally... observe... listen... understand...

EXCITEMENT IN THE AIR

I AM SO EXCITED... ITS OFFICAL...

THE AIRLINE TICKETS HAVE BEEN BOOKED FOR MY TRIP TO CANCUN ON NOV. 8TH... ALREADY STAYING AT MY FAVORITE HOTEL...

The Westin Resort & Spa Cancun
http://www.starwoodhotels.com/westin/property/overview/index.html?propertyID=1092

AND IF YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE WESTIN ... THEY HAVE THE BEST BED IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD... THE HEAVENLY BED... AND IT IS TRULY HEAVENLY... PLUS... YOU KNOW THIS IS A FIVE STAR RESORT...

ITS GOING TO BE A BLAST... MY MOM, HER BF, GRANDMA, HER BF DAUGTHER, ME AND MY ROOMIE!

WHAT A GREAT CREW...

GONNA BE RELAXIN AND SOME PARTYING TOO!!! MAINTAINING A TAN THROUGH THE WINTER...

ONE TRIP THAT IS PLANNED... NOW I GOTTA MOVE ON TO PLANNING NEW YORK IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS...OCEAN CITY WITH THE FAMILY IN AUG... MIAMI LABOR DAY WEEKEND AND LAS VEGAS PROBABLY IN SEPT... ALONG WITH A CONVENTION IN DC... SUCH A BUSY MONTH... I AM GOING WORLDWIDE...

AND WHERE THE HECK AM I GOING FOR NEW YEARS..
WORK HARD TO PLAY HARD...

Getting Sexy Back

This has been such a day of reflecting for me...

I am attempting to do so many things... reconnect with my friends... get my groove back and go out again... Now I am sitting here thinking about my body... Why because there are things I still dont like...

So.. I have this trip to miami coming up and so this means i have to bust my ass even more... I mean what is 15lbs or 20lbs more to lose... is that to much... i dont know... i mean if i can have a sexy stomach... i just might be happy... so i am really watching what i eat.. and if i eat something wrong... here comes the gym twice as hard... i have a personal trainer who works the hell out of me and than my own workout.. which now has an extensive ab workout... that just may kill me... but what it takes to be beautiful...

i cant complain... i have lost about 20lbs since the beginning of the year and i am truly blessed by that...

this is all in my attempt to get sexy back 100% mentally and physically... plus i am trying to get my groove back and go out more... i mean i am only 23 and should still be having fun too...